


Almost ~ A Grizzam fanfiction

by K_houston



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Falling In Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23905549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_houston/pseuds/K_houston
Summary: Grizz Visser returns from his expedition to everything just as he left it, except for the fact that Sam Eliot now has a daughter. Eden Gelb has become the most important thing in the red haired boy's eyes and there's nothing that Grizz can do to change that.* * *-Lexie and Harry are not running New Ham-Campbell didn't pull his dumb shit-Everything is fine. Yay!
Relationships: Sam Eliot/Gareth "Grizz" Visser
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	1. Fun Stepdad

**Author's Note:**

> Ahaha this is my first time writing on Ao3!!! I'm a Wattpad writer normally but I noticed that there was a larger Society fandom on Ao3, so I'm giving this website a try. If you enjoy, leave a comment and kudos :)

It has been three weeks since I came back. Three fucking weeks and I haven't seen him or heard from him. When we left off, things seem pretty okay for the most part. I mean, Sam told me that he needed me to come home. He needed me to be safe. But if it was so important that I was okay, then why hasn't he come looking for me. Listen, I know he has a family now. A little baby and probably a wife at some point. He has his own life and his own business he has to deal with, but really I only want him to be with me. God I'm an asshole. Listen to me. I am actually asking for him to be with me instead of his fucking child. What is wrong with me?

I stared up at my ceiling, rubbing my eyes and groaning as the morning sun shines through my window. Perks of being part of the guard: I get my own room. My eyes focus on the area next to me, empty and cold. An area where Sam once lay peacefully is now barren and tears breached my eyes as I thought of it. I groaned once more, rolling over and off of my bed. My feet hit the ground and I stood, stretching my body and shaking my hair around. Picking up a hoodie and throwing it over my head, I left my room and made my way down the quiet hallways. I've always woken up before everyone else so that I can have one moment of peace before the chaos of New Ham begins. 

"Morning, Grizz." Jason greeted, moving past me to start a pot of coffee. Jason moved in here recently, choosing to just leave his house and live with a couple people he actually knew and not a bunch of random teens. Which, for the most part, makes sense. The one thing that he gave up was his bedroom and I don't understand why anyone would want to do that.  
"Hey, man." I responded, taking a seat on a stool next to the island of my kitchen. I stared on as Jason wiped his eyes, clearly trying to think of what to say to me. I would be confused too if I were him. After the first week of being back, I kind of decided to shut myself away from everyone. Of course I'm doing my job in the guard, but I haven't been talking to many people. This will be one of the only conversations I've had in three weeks, one of which was one conversation with Sam. Just us deciding what we're going to do, no answer yet.  
"Kind of shocked you didn't just give me a wave. What's been up with you lately, dude?" He asked, making me laugh a little bit. I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to figure out how to answer this question. How on Earth do I tell him that the season I'm so upset is because I'm gay and the only person who knows (other than Gwen of course) is my maybe boyfriend but he's to busy raising a baby with a woman to spend time with me?  
"I uh, I don't know. Just going through some stuff." The words came out in a mumble, but Jason still heard. He sat next to me as the coffee pot filled slowly, leaning his head on his hand.  
"What kid of stuff?"  
"You wouldn't get it. It's personal." I've dug myself into a hole, haven't I?  
"Try me, Visser." Jason smiled, crossing his arms over his chest.  
"I'm gay, Jason." 

I watched the expression on his face change from confidence to confusion. Jason had never been one to think about things like that, ever. He never viewed them as a big deal or anything. Always saw it as you fuck who you fuck, no questions asked because no one cares. But in this case I can tell he's thinking differently. He's overthinking every single time I looked at him a weird way, hoping to god that I wasn't saying this because I'm in love with him. That's how everyone looked when Sam came out. I remember it because most of the football team made fun of him for it. Middle school, huh.

"Gay? Like full out, James Charles gay?" I laughed at the comparison.  
"Kind of. I mean I hate pretty much most of that feminine shit, but yes I like men." I answered, Jason standing up and pouring coffee into two mugs for both of us. Once he sat back down he placed both mugs on the island and looked at me again.  
"Okay, you're gay. So what?" He sipped his coffee.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Why are you so sad about being gay?" Jason asked, me laughing a little.  
"I'm not sad about being gay, more or so scared. But that's not why I've been distant." I pushed some hair out of my face with my hand, my cheeks burning from a conversation I knew I would have to have sooner or later.  
"Oh, so it's a boy. Let me guess, Luke? I feel like you've always thought he was hot." We both chuckled at the joke, sipping our coffee at the same time.  
"As much as I might want to agree with your statement, no. It's not Luke or any of he people you would guess. I promise." Jason then made an expression on his face symbolizing that he had put the pieces together.  
"It's Sam, isn't it? He's gay, you probably find him attractive, I've also seen him looking the same way as you recently." He sipped his coffee again, me smiling and thinking about Thanksgiving day. Everything that happened.  
"You can't, like, tell anyone. Seriously."  
"I promise, Grizz. Not a single soul will hear of this conversation." I nodded, continuing.  
"Sam and I had sex, we were sort of dating I guess. Then Becca and the baby...existed. When I found out, I was kind of heart broken, you know. I snapped at Sam, didn't wanna talk to him and kept ignoring him. The day we left for the expedition, he came to see me and told me I needed to be safe, that he needed me to come home and he gave me a kiss goodbye. But, when I came back everything was so different. I mean, he has a daughter now and has only spoken to me once since I've been back. I miss him. It's hell." Jason smiled, squeezing my arm a little.  
"Well, I say you're lovesick. You should go visit him and the baby. Becca knows he's gay, she won't care. You can be like the fun uncle, except it's the fun step-dad." I laughed.  
"Yeah, maybe."

Jason is out of his mind.


	2. Welcome to the Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I've been really busy. I hope you enjoy :)

Honestly, I don't know what made me think this was a smart idea. Whether it be Jason's really simple and strange pep talk, the way that my heart pounds whenever I think of him, or just the fact that I miss him so damn much, I never thought any of it would lead to to what I'm doing. But here I am, standing in the cold outside of the Gelb/Elliot residence. According to Kelly, because of the fact that they have a child, Sam and Becca have their own home which is just Becca's house from before this all happened. That's not really what matters tho, it's the fact that I may or may not be about to wreck a family for my own selfish needs. There's one thing that I know will happen, Becca will hate me. It's not that I ever really considered her a close friend, but she's sweet and she looks after Sam. I wanted to get closer to her than I was before the world turned upside down, but now that may never happen if I actually go through with what I'm about to do.

I moved forward, slightly dragging my feet. My left hand moved from my pocket, knocking lightly on the door. Heart beating fast, face hot, I stared at the door hoping to god that it isn't Sam who opens this door. Luckily for me, it wasn't. Becca Gelb cracked the door, smiling widely and opening it fully when she realized it was me. She seemed tired, her hair a mess and her clothes clearly pajamas that she has been wearing for days. Her smile was happy but worn down, like she had been using a fake one for days and finally got to use the real deal. I smiled back at her, but was way to nervous to start the conversation.

"Hey, Grizz." She said chirpily, crossing her rope to shield her from the cold of autumn.  
"Hey, Becca. It's been a while." She laughed. She can't tell that I'm nervous, which I guess is a good thing.  
"I was wondering when you'd come to meet her. Everyone in this town has except for you. Come in." Becca said, nodding her head toward the door and stepping aside.

I entered the house, looking around at everything. It was smaller than most of the houses in New Ham, but still pretty nice. Their kitchen was a mess, baby bottles and dirty dishes everywhere. There's tubs of baby formula stacked on top of each other in one corner, which I don't understand. No one else here has a baby so they don't really need to stock up on the stuff. Their living room was a mess, toys and clothes thrown everywhere. Baby chairs and Sam and Becca's things in random places. I smiled at how normal it all seemed, new parent stuff.

"She's upstairs with Sam if you wanna head up. I think they're both napping." I chuckled at her words.  
"They're both napping?" She nodded, going to the kitchen and starting to make a bottle.  
"Yeah. Sam's been even more tired than I have. He's been staying up all hours of the night because he's afraid she'll cry and he won't be looking at her. He thinks I won't wake up when she cries and he can't hear anything so he's in a constant state of panic about if she's okay or not."   
"Wow. That seems like a lot." He loves his daughter. Why am I slightly upset about the fact that he actually loves her? Maybe I'm just upset that she's real.  
"It is. Sam's a good dad, though. I couldn't wish for a better one." After the sentence left her mouth, I heard the baby start crying loudly.   
"I'm guessing that's her." Becca laughed at the comment.  
"It is. Could you wake Sam up and bring this with you? As you can see, I have a lot to do down here." Becca said, handing me a bottle filled with formula for the baby. God I wish I was doing anything else right now. I'm a terrible person, aren't I?  
"Yeah I can. No problem."   
"Thanks, you're the best." She squeezed my arm and went straight to work on cleaning up their living room.

This whole interaction has to be simple. First step, walking up the stairs. Which is what I'm doing right now, the baby's screams getting louder due to the fact that I'm getting closer to her. Once I made it to the second floor, I smiled at what it looked like up here. Everyone kind of just let their homes look like what they had looked like when this all started, but Becca and Sam's was different. It wasn't a reminder of what Becca's family was, it's a clear image of what her family is now. Photos of the baby from the day she was born and all the way through the last three weeks that she's been alive. There's pictures of Sam and Becca from when they were kids and recent ones, as well as a family photo of them with their daughter. I took a peek in the first door, seeing a nursery. It was painted lilac with a white carpet and a white crib against the wall, the crib was empty. I moved one door over, opening it to see what looked to be Becca's bedroom, which is funny considering I would think they shared a room. Next to her bed was a bassinet that also happened to be empty. Another door down was a small room that seemed to be an office of some sort, though I don't know what good that would do now. Finally. I made it to the last door, pushing it open slowly. Sam was asleep on a bed that was in the middle of the room with the headboard against the wall. He was fully dressed, jeans and his blue hoodie. I leaned against the doorway and looked at him for a second, he seems so relaxed for someone sleeping next to their screaming child. I sat on the bed next to him, shaking him softly while looking at the bassinet that holds a tiny being. He moved, groaning a little, then finally looking at me. Sam smiled, rubbing his eye and sitting up on his elbows, then he noticed the bottle in my hands. I gave it to him, watching the confusion on his face.

"Baby is crying." I spoke and signed to him. His eyes filled with panic as he rolled off of the bed, rushing to the bassinet that was on the other side of the bed. He smiled at the baby, lifting her out of the white, lace bedding. He bounced her a little which made her stop crying, shocking me with how quick it was. 

Sam sat down in a rocking chair in the corner of the room, holding the little girl in a semi-lying down position. He put the bottle up to her mouth and she started sucking it down, making my smile at him. He seems so in love with having a daughter, even if he has bags under his eyes and I barely ever get to see him, he seems happy this way. He looked at me, rocking peacefully and waiting for me to say something.

"She's cute. Tiny." I said and signed, making him smile widely.  
"Very tiny." He stated, both of his hands being used to feed the baby.

I watched as her eyes started closing slowly while she drank the bottle, small little noises leaving her mouth. My eyes focused on Sam as he smiled at his child, seeming to be in this perfect vision of happiness that will never fade. But I can't help thinking that I wish Becca wasn't her mother. I would never want Becca to disappear, but it would be nice if this little girl wasn't her's. She could be me and Sam's kid, gay dads and their daughter take on the world. Instead, I'm sad and alone while Sam is living out domestic life with a woman and his little girl. And I could never be mad at him for that, because this is his family. Who would I be if I took away his family? Probably the person who took away his family and that's all. Not his boyfriend or even his friend. I snapped out of my thoughts, looking at Sam and his daughter. He cooed quietly at the baby girl, removing the empty bottle from her mouth. She started crying immediately, her whole face scrunching up. Sam made a small "aw" noise at her, looking at me and pointing to the counter next to me. I looked at the counter and back to him.

"Pacifier and rag." He signed with one hand, trying to make it easy for me to understand. I nodded, taking both of those things off of the counter.

I walked over to Sam and the crying child, handing him both items. He swung the rag over his shoulder, popping the pacifier into the baby's mouth and placing her against his shoulder. He started tapping her back lightly, burping her I think. I'm pretty sure, but I haven't had much experience with babies in my life. Sam shushed the baby even though she wasn't making any noise, I guess that's just him keeping her calm or something. I sat back on the bed, this time on the side of the room him and the baby were on. I'm guessing he needs me to tell him if she burped, but I'm not sure. He could be able to feel the vibrations. I don't know how babies work. After a couple more minutes, the baby finally let out a burp. Sam smiled, removing the kid from his shoulder and taking the rag off of himself. He held her in his arms, standing and bouncing her softly. He looked at me and I immediately knew what he was asking.

"Sam I don't know how." I said calmly, laughing a little.  
"Come on, it's easy." He smiled, sitting down next to me on the bed. I held my arms like I was signing "baby" and waited for him to give me his daughter. He placed her in my arms, fixing my position with holding her.  
"Protect her head." Sam said, a smile never leaving his face. I looked at him, grinning up at him.  
"She looks a lot like Becca." He laughed and nodded.  
"Yeah, she does." He signed and spoke.  
"You know, I don't even know her name." I was still looking at him while I talked so that he would understand me.  
"Eden" He spelled out in ASL.  
"Eden?"  
"Yeah. Eden Gelb." He spoke and signed, leaning into my side slightly.

This is somewhat how I imagined my future after college, just not completely. I mean, I always saw me with a cute boy and a baby in my arms but I never thought that the baby wouldn't be mine and that the cute boy and I were in a very confusing spot. This is also not how I pictured this interaction to go. I wanted to show up, ask him if we were still something, if yes then whether or not he wants Becca to know, then kiss him goodbye and leave to do my guard job. But this is very different. I mean, I'm holding his daughter while she's half asleep and Sam is sitting next to me watching while Becca is cleaning downstairs and has no idea that her baby daddy and I may or may not be dating. Honestly though, this isn't the strangest situation that's happened in the last ten months or so. About ten minutes passed, Eden asleep in my arms, Sam standing up and reaching for her. I gladly let him take her, watching as he placed the girl in her bassinet and removed the pacifier from her mouth. I moved myself, sitting against his headboard with him sitting down in front of me. The nerves in his eyes were evident, so I reached out and took hold of his hand softly.

"I wanted to talk to you about something. I promise I won't yell or talk to fast, I won't get upset; I just want to know the truth." He nodded along with my words, his expression softening.  
"What do you want to talk about?" He spoke calmly, just like when we had sex for the first time. I wish it could just be that day again.  
"What are we, Sam? I know that I don't want to be your secret side piece while you have your family and your happiness. But I also don't want to force you to give up your life with Eden and Becca if this is what you really want." I said, feeling a giant weight lifted from my shoulders.  
"I don't know what to do." He's scared, I know he is. He's upset and scared that I'm going to walk away. I don't want to walk away.  
"I'm not going to wait around for you and I need you to get that. I am not going to make myself suffer just because you don't know what to do. You're a big boy Sam, you're a dad for Christ sake. You can make your own decisions. Do you want to be with me or not?" He looked away from me once I stopped talking, looking at Eden in her bassinet.  
"I do. I want to be with you, but I don't know how to tell Becca." He looked at me again.  
"Well, I don't want you to have to choose between me and your daughter. If Becca doesn't want you to be around Eden if you're with me, then I'll back off."   
"No."  
"No what?" He seemed a little upset now.  
"I don't want you to back off. Becca will deal with it, even if she doesn't want to." I smiled a little at that, but I know that's not how everything works. There's going to be a custody battle and maybe Sam will get weekends, but it'll all be because of me. I don't want to be the person who makes him lose his daughter.  
"I wish it was that easy of a decision, Sam. You can't just call all the shots. She's Becca's too." 

Sam looked into my eyes, clearly wanting to tell me something. He seemed to be questioning his own thinking process, his own mind. I wish I could just know everything he's thinking so that we wouldn't have to go through this conversation, so that I would just know if we'll be okay. This isn't even something that I should be worried about. I should be more worried about survival and doing my job, but what's life without love huh? Sam let my hand go, taking his phone out of his pocket. I saw him open his text messages, texting Becca "come upstairs, we need to talk." He shut his phone off, putting it back into his pocket and giving my a small smile. He reached up, tucking some of my hair behind my ear which made me feel butterflies in my stomach. It's crazy, the smallest touch from this boy makes me feel ways that I never thought I would be able to feel with someone from West Ham. I guess New Ham is different though, everything is upside down. The door creaked open so I tapped Sam and nodded toward Becca, his head shooting over to her. She closed the door behind her, coming closer to Sam and I. Becca stood in front of Eden's bassinet, leaning over and adjusting the tiny blanket over her. She seems like a great mom, better parent than I would ever be.

"How long has she been sleeping again?" She spoke and signed, Sam's expression being very nervous and worried.  
"Ten or fifteen minutes." He spoke and signed back to Becca. I have a very limited knowledge of sign language, I only know what Sam has taught me, which is probably why he is talking while signing to her. So that I understand him.  
"Becca we need to talk to you... about something important." I said, knowing that Sam wasn't looking at me. Becca shot me a look, causing Sam to notice I spoke so he just smiled at me.  
"About what?" She signed and spoke, Sam and I sharing a look.  
"I got it." Sam said to me, then he turned to Becca.

Sam started signing to Becca who was nodding along. He was going really fast, obviously telling her the whole story but I wasn't too sure of what he was saying to her. I saw the word sex and I saw him say my name, but that's about it. It seemed to be going on for hours, the two of them talking, but I knew it had only been minutes. My heart was racing through time and beating out of my chest, my whole face and body feeling hot. That's when Becca looked upset. She was clearly yelling at him, but I still didn't know what she was saying. Then, she pointed to the baby and used what I'm guessing is a sign name for Eden. Sam said one last thing, I think yelling back at her. The words I picked up on were "won't tell." Becca crossed her arms, staring us both down, Sam placing his hand on my knee and mouthing "please" to her. She looked down at Eden, thought for a minute, then nodded and looked back to us.

"Okay, fine. Tell him." I looked at Sam.  
"Tell me what?" He took a deep breath in, looking me in the eyes.  
"Eden isn't biologically mine." He said and signed, my eyes widening with shock. What the actual fuck?  
"Excuse me?"   
"She's my daughter, my little girl, just not by blood. Becca didn't want to tell me the dad and didn't want people to think she was some slut who got pregnant by a random dude that she wasn't in love with. So I signed on to pretending to be her father. I always wanted a baby, and obviously I won't be having one of my own, so Eden is just as much mine as she is Becca's." I stared at Sam, then looked at Becca. She nodded at me.  
"He's telling the truth. That's why her last name is Gelb, not Eliot." Becca added. Damn, I did not see this many layers to this situation.  
"Okay. Just so I'm not confusing anything, Eden is Becca's baby with another guy who isn't from West Ham and because she didn't want anyone to judge her, you chose to be Eden's pretend biological father, but you are her father as in you're raising her and she is yours now." They both laughing a little at the confusion in my expression and face.  
"Exactly." Sam answered, making me smile. Thank god I didn't mess that up.  
"Seriously though, you can't tell anyone." Becca said, me immediately nodding.  
"We made an agreement, Grizz." Sam spoke and signed, taking my hand in his.  
"What's the agreement?"  
"If you tell someone that Eden isn't mine... Becca won't let me see her anymore." My heart stopped.  
"Shit. Okay." Eden woke up, making tiny little noises. Becca turned and starting cooing at the baby, lifting her from her bassinet  
"I'll leave you two to have your privacy." She said, moving toward the door with Eden in her arms.  
"Thank you, Becca. For telling me." She smiled.  
"Welcome to the family, Grizz Visser." Becca left the room, closing the door and leaving Sam and I alone in his room.

Once she was gone, Sam just sat next to me against the headboard. He held my arm tightly and leaned his head on my shoulder. This is such a nice situation, but I still can't help thinking about how he never really answered my initial question. I rested my head against Sam's, feeling his chest rise and fall with his breathing. His fingers messed with my hand in an endearing way, my stomach doing flips at the thought that he might actually be my first real relationship. Kind of crazy to think about. I mean, I'm 18 and I've never been in a real relationship where I actually fell in love with someone. I nudged him in the side lightly to get his attention. Sam sat up to get a better look at me.

"I have a few questions for you." I said softly, Sam nodding.  
"What questions?" He asked, confusion on his face.  
"For starters, are we dating? Like, are we together together? Cause it would be a good thing to know." We both laughed a little. Sam reached up and gently placed his hand on my cheek, smiling at me. He leaned in slowly, closing his eyes and kissing me on the lips. My eyes fluttered shut as I returned the kiss, leaning into his touch. He pulled away within ten seconds, looking at me with soft eyes.  
"Together together." He said, smiling widely. My smile matched his as he sat back into his position to look at me.  
"Okay second question, are we telling people and being public or keeping it a secret for a while? I mean everyone already knows you're gay and were very shocked to know you were having a baby. So it's not like Becca has much to worry about with that because people will still believe she's yours." He nodded at my words, thinking for a moment of what his answer was going to be.  
"We have to run that by Becca first. It's a decision that's in the best interest of Eden, not for us or for Becca. And Eden is too small to make that decision herself." He spoke and signed calmly.  
"Okay that makes sense. Now for my final question, what did Becca mean when she welcomed me to the family?" Sam stiffened a little but quickly loosened up.   
"That was part of the agreement... for Becca at least. She said that if me and you are together, and I mean really together, then you have to help co-parent with Eden. I don't think that she means it so literally, like she's not asking for you to be her step father but she wants you to help whenever you're around. Which I'm hoping is a lot." He spoke and signed, sighing at the end. I nodded to him.  
"Okay. I'll help. Don't know much about babies, but I'll help."

Sam moved even closer to me, moving my hair away from my face and holding my face in his hands. Our lips pressed together softly, smiles evident. Our lips moved together slowly, fitting together like puzzle pieces. This is how I imagined it would be, me and Sam being happy together. Maybe Jason was right, maybe this is where I'm meant to be. With Sam, kissing on a bed, being boyfriends, being a kind of step father to a three week old baby. This is just something I never saw coming.

"Welcome to the family, Grizz Visser." Sam spoke and signed to me.  
"Thank you for having me, Sam Eliot."


End file.
